


Drowning

by tigriswolf



Series: poetry [86]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Anger, Gen, Ocean, Poetry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 19:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: This morning, I wokefrom a dreamof the ocean,that last time we went—





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Written: August 14, 2017
> 
> Note: the pov here is from a highly depressed person whose suicide only failed because of a friend, and the narrator is not happy about it. keep that in mind for your own mental health. i hesitated in posting this.
> 
> Another note: NOT autobiographical

This morning, I woke  
from a dream  
of the ocean,  
that last time we went—  
you remember, don’t you?  
I tried to drown  
but you pulled me from the waves.  
.  
I remember:  
The hot sand beneath my feet.  
The burning sun glaring down.  
The salt bitter on my lips.  
The water—  
The water—  
I coughed it into your mouth.  
.  
You never looked at me the same, after that.  
Wary. Watchful.  
Afraid.  
You didn’t understand.  
I didn’t want you to understand.  
I wanted to sink into the ocean,  
To let it wash me away.  
I still don’t know how you realized,  
How you got to me so fast.  
If I had struggled,  
Would you have let the ocean have me?  
.  
I remember:  
It burned.  
It burned  
and I inhaled in relief.  
.  
The dream comes in cycles;  
my body remembers.  
Four times a year,  
all in a row,  
I dream of the ocean.  
I dream of the ocean,  
of if you hadn’t been there,  
of sinking down into the deep,  
of finally resting.  
.  
My family thanked you,  
when I was still strapped to the hospital bed.  
I never did.  
.  
You remember, don’t you?  
I’ll never forget.


End file.
